20 Things I Learned in My 20s

One of the most vivid memories of my early 20s was going out for drinks with friends and somehow finding myself dry-humping a wall. Ah yes, those were the days. But in a month, I will be thirty and I don't know how. How did I get here? First of all, thanks God. But for real though? Just the other day, I was 18 without a care in the world. At 25, I was still turning up like you wouldn't believe. Now? I can't wait to get home on Friday and sleep off all of the exhaustion from the week. A drink? My stomach can't take the thought.The following advice in this post is almost all a result of my first hand experiences. Everything that I've gone through in my 20s, has molded me into the woman I am today. Of course I've had many regrets that I later took back because without the experience, I would not have gotten the lesson. I'm still learning the lessons. But if I could share with you what I wish someone would've shared with me, this is what I would say.

20 Things I Learned in my 20s

Spirituality

• At some point, you will question why you exist. Possibly, you'll want to try on a few religions. None of that is bad. [Tweet "We should all question what we believe in order to be firm on what we stand for. "] You owe yourself certainty. And when you get it, believe with all your might.

Sexuality and Sexual Health

• Take charge of your body and don't leave it in the hands of anyone else. It is your job to get tested every 6 months, whether you're in a relationship or not. Don't do yourself the injustice of not knowing what is going into your body.
• Here's the thing: the only way to protect yourself from disease is abstinence. Point blank period. If you have sex, there are several things that can happen to you: pure euphoria, vaginal discomfort, STDs, HIV or pregnancy. Take your pick. But don't be surprised if/when any of these things happen. And by the way, you can still contract an STD while performing oral or receiving anal sex.
• Always carry baby wipes. Whether it's in your purse or a pack in your car, wipes will get you out of any sticky situation.

Relationships and Intimacy

• If your partner is unable or unwilling to do something to make both of you happy, it's time to go. Considering the other persons feelings is great but don't forget about you and what you want.
• [Tweet "You will always find the answer you need when you communicate."] This is not to stay that the answer you receive is the answer you desire.
• Rarely any relationship is perfect. Don't believe what you see on social media. Yes, the love is there but the journey was probably rocky. You've got to know whether what you have is worth the drama.

Friendships

• [Tweet "The length of time you've known someone means nothing if the relationship has no DEPTH."]
• As you get older and your close friends become few, you have to work harder to maintain the ones you really love. Plan dates, talk about goals, help out where you can, and be there when it matters.
• The friends you partied with in college might not be around afterwards and that's completely fine. As you grow, it'll be a continual process of figuring out who you are and who your kind of people are. It doesn't make those you no longer spend time with useless; they're just no longer for you. Seasons change. Why can't we?

Family

• As annoying as they may be sometimes, you will start to realize how smart your parents are. Being a parent is probably the most important job in the world. It requires sacrifice and complete selflessness. And once you've wised up to all that they've done for you, you won't take them for granted again.

Self-Esteem and Mental Health

• No one will truly understand what you're going through because they are not you. They can empathize but you are in your body, your mind. With that being said, you are in charge of YOU. Negative energy, verbal abuse, pessimistic mindsets and your own limiting thoughts have got to go.
• Even the most sane people are a little crazy. When your problems become too much to deal with on your own, seek a professional who you can trust to help with your issues.

Random

• Somewhere around age 27, something shifts in most 20-somethings where your tolerance for alcohol begins to wane. After just a few shots, you're ready to call it a night because, you just can't. You refuse to make a fool of yourself in public anymore. Enter, red wine.
• If you want to fuck up, DO IT NOW. You probably don't have any kids or major responsibilities. Take advantage of that.

Career and Education

• College isn't for everyone. The system is not set up for us to be debt-free. You go to college and learn years of pointless information instead of being taught how to function in the real world and how to apply real life skills. There will be many distractions in college but remember the money that it's costing you to be there. Don't waste your time or your parents dime.
• Life is too short to do anything you don't want to do. If you know what you want to study doesn't require a university degree, don't go! There are trade schools and community colleges that are an option. What matters to most businesses is whether you possess those tangible skills to make them money.
• Take internships. Take at least two meaningful internships before you graduate. Make sure you have a portfolio of work to show for that internship or be able to explain how you've helped the company grow or else it doesn't matter.
• Your school has hired many professionals, including therapists, at your disposal for free. Do not leave without going to see them. Take advantage of everything free.
• Don't expect to have your life all figured out. If you're one of the fortunate ones who've figured it all out in your 20s, that's great. [Tweet "Life is all a journey. You've got to keep going in order to keep growing."]

Photo: We Heart It