Disclaimer: I am no where near being a medical professional, and therefore cannot advise you on what to do with your body. This is solely my story and my experience that I'm hoping will make you feel less alone. This is the third time I've written about my journey. The other posts will be linked below. It’s been one year since my myomectomy surgery. One year ago today, I was just waking up in my room at Northside Hospital. My life has changed forever in ways that are hard to explain. I can still vividly remember what it felt like to place my hand on my abdomen in 2015 and feel a strange mass. The emotions from my first ultrasound, when the nurse told me I had at least 10 fibroids, still fills my eyes with tears. And to my disbelief, after coming out of surgery, I was told that 27 fibroids were removed. I am very grateful that the medical team were able to remove as many as they could, without me losing too much blood. A noticeable-sized fibroid (about 2cm) was left due to it being near a major artery that, if removed, would have caused a lot of blood loss.In my mind, I was somewhat in the clear. But also in my mind, was the one that was left. There has always been a looming fear that that one would sprout some kind of fibroid revolution in my body. And it did. Or so I think.Yesterday, I had a one year post-operation ultrasound appointment, where I was told that the one fibroid that remained, may have grown about 1cm. It is now about 3cm. That’s about the size of a ping pong ball. And then there’s one the size of a grape (2.5cm). There are also five smaller ones scattered around. So about 7 fibroids total. They are deep within the muscle of the uterus but not in the uterine cavity. I was surprised but I think because I’ve been down this road before, I was not shocked.At this point, I’m not sure what to do, since research hasn’t really linked the development of fibroids to any one specific thing. Many speculations for their growth have been the food we eat, the products we use and even getting them hereditarily (my mother had them). It’s all a mystery. But it is disheartening to know that so many women suffer, have had surgeries, have had them come back…and still, no solutions.I’ve been somewhat of a health nut for a long time, so it’s disappointing not to have any answers as to why this is happening and happening to me. I’ve found myself going down rabbit holes of what I could have done to get punished in this way but no conclusion brings comfort.Did I not eat enough organic food? Was I stressing out too much? Was I not treating my body like the temple that it is? Is it because I don't exercise?Was it because I took birth control in my late 20s?Is it because I eat out too much?Do I not get enough sleep?Was I doomed from the start because my mother had it?Is there NOTHING that can be done???What did I do???I don't have the answers.I've been on birth control, Yaz, for about three weeks now. I know, I know, estrogen. But since the fibroids took over my body, my skin and hair took a turn for the worst. My hair grew so thin that I decided to chop it all off and start over, but it grew back thin. It wasn't until after the surgery, literally right after, that it went back to it's regular thickness. My face was another story. Never in my life have I experienced cystic hormonal acne. Every time I would try to heal the scars after an outbreak, the painful acne would return as soon as my cycle returned. So far, the birth control has helped with my skin. I just pray it isn't doing anything else to my body.After speaking with my doctor, I feel so defeated. What can I do or try to make a change in my situation? It feels like I have to quickly make decisions that were not even close to being on my mind so soon. She keeps telling me that I will have to have a c-section if I decide to have children. Having already given birth to fibroids, the thought of doing it all over again...the pain...and also having a human to take care of...is not something I look forward to now. I do not want to be cut again. But I know it is possible to have a vaginal birth after a c-section. But after a myomectomy? I don't know. I hate that I even have to think like this now. Debating whether I even want to have children or limit it to having one. I didn't see my 30s turning out like this.It’s absolutely frustrating but I can’t lose faith that things will get better. Women have been healing themselves for centuries and I know I can do it too. Whatever happens, I will continue to be grateful that I do have good health and the opportunity to continue to discuss these issues and share my story.If you haven't already done so, please follow my website, More Than My Uterus and on social media. If you are suffering from uterine issues, I'd love to share your story on MTMU! Send me an email at morethanmyuterus@gmail.com. Read my story, comment and share with those you know and love. Let's start a wild fire on this topic. And hopefully soon, we will get some real solutions. Be well.